the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
