i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I need moral support for this bender
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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