so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
