Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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