we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
