Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
