so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
