I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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