Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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