drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
