another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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