whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
