you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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