Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
