How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
