I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
