I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
