You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
