Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize