Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
