Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
