People in love make me want to vomit
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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