Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
being pregnant is like rehab
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
