carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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