Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
