You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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