my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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