i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
