I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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