she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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