using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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