it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Randomize
