Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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