my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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