I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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