you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I need a burrito and a hug.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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