Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
