Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
