you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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