Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
