He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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