Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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