i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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