She's JV to your varsity
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
