He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
