1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
