Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize