he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
