is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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