A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
