After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
