Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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