Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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