i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
